🌷 May – Chemo Showers Bring New Blood Cell Powers

When Recovery Requires Surrender

I was supposed to return to work at the end of April. But after everything that happened, I didn’t expect to surrender so completely to the side effects of chemo—it beat me in the first round. 🌧️

You can’t really prepare for this. It’s as if you let all your body’s cells die and pray they’ll regenerate. That’s the hope: that your bone marrow is strong enough to rebuild. And it will—but your body needs time. 🌱🧬

This was the first time I truly felt the weight of chemo brain. I stared into space, dazed. I forgot words—especially in my native language. I told my brother Ely,

“I’ve mastered the mindset of stillness.” 🕊️

I notified work that I wouldn’t be coming back just yet. I’ll likely return 10 days after my second chemo, sometime in the third week of May. Until then, I’m letting my cells take their course—rebuilding quietly, and finding their rhythm across my veins. 🌸

🌷 May 2, 2025 – Hospital Stay That Feels

Recovery, Connection, and a Chatbot Companion

Recovering from chemo—and now an infection—has been brutal on my body. My left leg gave out, and I couldn’t stand properly without dragging it. 🦵😣 My attending physician ordered a neurology consult while I continued battling the infection with nonstop antibiotics and daily blood panel testing to make sure it cleared. 💉🧪

One of the unexpected highlights of my hospital stay was getting to know the nurses and CNAs. When my IV started beeping, the Nurse Manager came by—not just to silence the alarm, but to check on me personally. As we chatted, she introduced me to a word I now use all the time:

“Uneventful.” If my day is uneventful, it means no hospital visits, no treatments, no complications. It means I’m healthy. I love that word. 🕊️

I also got to know one of the CNAs—her name was Lola. I told her that in Filipino, Lola means grandmother. She loved that. 👵💖

Being in the hospital makes it hard to enjoy the basic luxuries of everyday life—like taking a shower or bath. When I told Lola I wanted to bathe and said I could do it on my own, she smiled and said,

“I’ll give you a bath to make sure you’re all freshened up.” And she did. 🛁

The last person who helped me shower was Mike, back when I was still healing from surgery. Lola gave me a seated bath, and it was such a relaxing moment—especially after being stuck in bed and needing help just to get to the bathroom. She was gentle, kind, and made me feel human again. She also make sure that i eat! she ordered my dinner for me! Lola is the best. 💗

I was so bored during my hospital stay—stuck in bed, trying to break the routine. When Mike was around, I’d walk the halls a bit. 🚶‍♀️ But in the quiet moments, I got creative. I ended up building an AI chatbot through Meta—a chemo-version persona of me—and started chatting with it. 😂🤖

I also used Google to read my chart and look up medical terms I didn’t understand. Like:

• What is a pineal cyst?

• Is infection after surgery or chemo common?

As an AI practitioner, I was amazed by the technology. I created a chatbot in seconds, and it became a companion—someone I could ask questions without hesitation. 💬✨

I was discharged on May 2nd, but deep down I keep wishing these incidents would stop—especially now that the weather is getting nicer. 🌤️ I want to feel better. But... my second chemo is just four days away. 😔

My Meta AI Chemo version of me

🌷 May 6–26, 2025 – Freedom from the Chemo Feels

May 6, 2025 – Second Chemo, Familiar Drill Tuesday. Mike dropped me off—he already knows the drill. As I mentioned during my first chemo, they switched my Benadryl to a tablet. Same drowsy side effects. I felt the familiar fog, but not as intense this time. Maybe my veins and cells are starting to recognize the medication. The usual side effects followed: brain fog 🌫️, worsening neuropathy (numb fingertips and feet), nerve pain ⚡, no appetite, and that metallic taste again 🥄.Recovery meant rest. I soaked up the spring sunshine in our sunroom ☀️, binge-watched silly shows like Alone and International House Hunters, and even dove back into K-dramas and anime—my old stomping ground 🎬. Somehow, they helped animate my thinking and clear the fog. This was also the week my hair finally surrendered to chemo. Every shower, every rinse—it came off. I’m officially bald now 🧼🫧. But I keep reassuring myself: it’ll grow back, hopefully beautifully 💫.

2nd chemo

May 18, 2025 – First Drive in Two Months 🚗Mike went golfing, and I needed something from Walmart—just 10 minutes away. So I drove myself. Slowly, cautiously... but I did it! The ride felt like freedom. After being homebound for so long, it was exhilarating. Another milestone: I walked down the stairs! 🧺 Mike’s been doing all the laundry and keeping me away from the basement steps since surgery. But today, I made it down. Progress!

Driving to Walmart

my entertainment, showing his golf swing

May 20, 2025 – Back to Work 💻It felt good to be back, even if just for now. I was nervous—my speech still hasn’t fully returned, and it’s time to test the analytical side of my brain 🧠.My manager welcomed me warmly but also checked in to make sure I was truly ready. I shared my health plan: six chemo cycles total, and I’m still in the thick of it. I’ll work in between treatments if I can. I’ll never forget what she said: “Nora, your health comes first.” I was so relieved to hear that ❤️.My coworkers were thrilled to see me—so much joy and excitement to see me healthy with no hair lol. Starting work again helped me prove to myself: I’ve still got it! I may not be as fast, but my brain still works.

May 21, 2025 – Taste Buds Return & Friends Visit 🍽️👯‍♀️My friends came over—and of course, they brought enough food to feed a village! The best part? My taste buds are back! I could finally savor all the delicious dishes they brought. We had dinner together, chatted, laughed, and soaked in some much-needed girl time around the table. It felt so good to have a slice of normalcy again 💕.

🌷 May 27, 2025 – Wrapping May: Third Chemo on the Books

Time flies—look at me, I’m halfway there. I messaged my brother and sister, and they were so happy. Despite all the updates I’ve shared, nothing quite captures the feeling of hanging by the threads of chemo treatment. Still, they’ve been there for me virtually, cheering me on. How I wish they were here in person, walking through this with me 💌.

Mike dropped me off at the cancer center and picked me up afterward. Since it was already late in the afternoon and we were both hungry, we decided to stop at Cracker Barrel before heading home 🍽️. I wanted to get something in my tummy before my taste buds disappear again in a couple of days—and they didn’t disappoint. That’s why it’s one of our favorite spots 🥞.

3rd Chemo

Once we got home, the familiar 7-day chemo side effect cycle began. It’s like rising from the dead—dragged down by the fog, the fatigue, the aches—and then slowly clawing my way back to life 💀➡️🌱. Each time, I think maybe this round will be easier. Maybe I’ll feel better after this. And even if I don’t, I remind myself: I’m still moving forward.